"More is caught than taught".  No matter who you are, this is true.  But if you have children you know this from the eyes that follow your every move.  That means they see when our temper gets the best of us.  They see when you do something unethical.  They see your impatience.

The other day I took my middle son to drop him off, and when I pulled up to the building where he needed to be dropped off, another parent had pulled in just before us.  We both swung our cars around by the door for a quick exit.  Except there was no quick exit.  The parent and child stayed in the car extra long and I was losing my patience.  Finally the mother gets OUT OF the car.  I'm frustrated, may or may not have rolled my eyes, and quickly reversed the car to swing around this moron!  Then I saw her with the crutches for her son as he hobbled out of the passenger side.  I'm such an idiot!  Did I mention I was dropping my son off at DRIVER'S TRAINING CLASSES.  Ugh.  

That's the bad news of "More is caught than taught".  Those around us can catch us at some of our worst moments.  

But there is good news too.

1.  When you do blow it (and we will blow it), you have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness, to make the situation right, to turn around and do the right thing . . . and . . . they see that too.  You can model for those around you how to respond when you do the wrong thing.

2.  You can be intentional, by being caught.  You can't intentionally have those around you catch you doing something that isn't actually part of your life, but you can be intentional about letting others see what is part of your life.  For instance, I try to spend each morning when I first get up with God.  So, I sit in our living room with my Bible and my journal.  And when our kids come down for breakfast in the morning, there I am.  Consistently.  I can tell them about the importance of spending time with God but they SEE it's important to me & that carries WAY more weight than me just telling them it's important.

3.  It's not too late.  I've witnessed enough marriage relationships on the brink to know that what often seems doomed, doesn't necessarily mean it is.  When they commit to going all in, and taking every step possible to protect their marriage and show each other love, there is hope.  But words or inconsistent actions won't get the job done.  It's not too late to start modeling the right things.  It's not too late to start loving your spouse well.  It's not too late to start showing your kids through your actions what's most important.  Sure there might be a lot of water under the bridge, but TODAY can be a new day.  It's not too late.  Start modeling the right things today!

What are your actions saying about what's important to you?  What is your life speaking to your kids, spouse, siblings, grandkids?  More is caught than taught.  So, what are others catching from you?

 

Paul Urban